jim larson's thoughts

why prostitution is bad: second reason

14-Jan-06 18:56 Yesterday I received an email from "Som", one of our dear bargirl friends, telling us she had gone to get an abortion last week.  She had discovered she was pregnant, and made a quick decision.:


Som has a delightful personality and a sincere heart.  When we first met her I thought she was something of an airhead, but discovered it was only an act for her job, and a cover for years of hurt and rejection by her family.  She's actually a bright, deep thinker.  I have no doubt that she means what she says.


When we think of prostitution we think of men paying for sex.  But in the end, it's the woman who pays.  This is one terrible way, but not the only one.  But I don't care how pro-choice you may be, you can't tell me that any woman should have to go through something like this. 


Another young bargirl we know also forced a spontaneous abortion a few months ago.  Afterwards, her personality noticeably changed.  She stopped talking about quitting that life.  She lost her sweetness, became more like a stereotypical prostitute.  I'm praying hard that doesn't happen to Som.

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What God Wants

12-Jan-06 18:54 In my last post I wrote about Nui.  Yesterday she joned The Well.  Some Thai friends came by with another young woman they had been helping--I'll call her Sai.  Sai is just 20, with a 4 year-old son she hasn't seen for 2 years.  She comes from a northern province notorious for families selling their children. 

Sai was depressed.  With only a 6th grade education, here basically alone, she felt helpless and hopeless.  As we interviewed her she silently fought back tears, mostly with success, but a couple of times they flowed freely.  She never sobbed--the tears just quietly pooled in her eyes and cascaded down her cheeks.

I poked around a bit on the 'Net for info about emotional tears.  As I suspected, animals don't cry, except for a big 'maybe' on Indian elephants and seals.  Chimpanzees do not.  Here's one interesting article:  http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/08/27/1061663846142.html.  Its author notes:
Tears are useless?  And they wonder why Christians have so many complaints about dogmatic evolution.  But I digress...

Interestingly enough, for most poeple crying is by far the most difficult emotion to fake.  Laughter, fear, anger--anyone can do that.  But real tears?  The tongue-in-cheek litmus test of a good actor is can they "cry on queue".  But it's a rare movie indeed that shows tears silently erupting from the sad but motionless face of an actor or actress. 

I would argue that tears are also our most infectious emotion.  I can see someone in fits of laughter and be amused, but I won't necessarily join them.  Someone can be in an absolute rage, and while it will trigger various emotions depending on the situation,  normally I don't find myself becoming angry unless their anger directly involves me or someone I care about.  But put someone in front of me with genuine tears about something entirely not my problem, something we see quite often of course among bar girls, and were it not for my years of learning to be clinical, I'd also be needing a tissue. 

My dad cries easily--it's something he sees with a bit of embarrassment.  It usually happens from joy, when something touches his heart.  Everyone loves him for it of course.  Tears exist because of and for the purpose of love.  Nothing makes friends faster, brings out the best in others, more than tears. 

The Bible gives a delightful picture of Heaven in its last 2 chapters.  It's quite simple: a huge city, 1400 miles cubed, "prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband."  This not the carnal paradise of Islam or childish speculation where we get everything we want.  It's about God, Love Himself, getting what He wants: And what is God's first act in finally being together with his people? 
Sitting there watching Sai's silent tears I couldn't help but note that I was seeing what God wants, and why I wouldn't trade this for a staffed mansion on a Mediterranean island with a yacht.  He has a thing for helpless, hopeless people.  He likes nothing better than to lift up the chin of one and softly dab at those tears. "It's ok now.  You can stop."

Sai moved into The Well today.  Both she and Nui, who cried with Judy on Sunday, are happier, and so am I.  So is God.

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why prostitution is bad: first reason

09-Jan-06 18:52 There are several reasons why I have a clear position that governments should not legalize prostitution.  I will try to write about them over time.  Thailand, by the way, does not officially have legal prostitution, just hardly enforced.  In any case, here's reason number one:

Judy and I stopped by a few of our known bars last night.  At one of them, the cashier has become a Christian and attends church semi-regularly.  As we were sitting catching up with her and a couple of the others, I noticed a new face in the corner a couple of stools away, looking unhappy.  I smiled and introduced myself.  Nui said she was from Surin, and had only been working there a few days.  Sai walked up to the counter to say hello, distracting my attention for a minute.  Meanwhile Tuk motioned Nui over to Judy for prayer, saying she said Nui had a lot of problems.  Tuk considers Judy to be "lucky", because so far everyone she has prayed for has gotten well.

Between loud music and Nui's soft voice, not to mention our 2nd grade Thai, it was hard to follow a lot of her story, but much louder than her words and tears were the deep scars on her arms and neck.  Whether or not those were self-inflicted we're not yet sure, but Nui has been seriously abused.  And abused women are prone to end up as prostitutes .

I once saw a documentary on a Nevada brothel.  It was cut together with no commentary, simply interview sound bites with prostitutes, madams and customers.  It seemed like the perfect open-minded secular approach--prostitution is what it is, so why knock it.  But the documentary ended with comments from a number of women about their past, and how they ended up in that life.  One said very simply, "You just don't do this if you haven't been sexually abused." Comments (5)

 

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