jim larson's thoughts

Serving Works

30-Apr-07 10:19

Dan Stine just gave me a copy of The Myth of a Christian Nation: How the Quest for Political Power Is Destroying the Church, by Gregory Bode.  In the introductory chapters of the book, Bode compares the "power over" thinking of the world with the "power under" strategy of Jesus, an idea Bode credits to Barbara Rossing and John Yoder.  Bode describes it like this:

Perhaps no passage in Jesus' life sums it up better than these words:

Indeed, this is where the name "servantworks" comes from. 

Last week I went with Dan Stine, Bill Graver and a few staff and members of the The Well to the province of Khon Khen, about 7 hours northeast.  Our project was to do some upgrading on the house of one of our members at The Well.  For our part the work consisted of basic unskilled manual labor--breaking up old concrete, mixing and hauling cement.  We three foreign guys slept on the floor in a relative's house across the street.

We knew the neighbors would be curious, for one wanting to know which one of us was the boyfriend.  They also wondered why we slept on the floor instead of comfortably at a hotel in town.  Were we "bird dung" foreigners, the derrogatory term for low-class Westerners living in Thailand?  At the same time they noticed that we were working hard, pushing the pace of the project.

The third day we didn't have much to do--the Thai workers were laying concrete block and none of the 3 of us had really any experience.  We were hoping to help pour a new floor, but the three of us didn't really know what we were doing, and there were a couple more Thai workers and not enough trowels to go around anyway.  We considered going home a day early, but the bricklayers thought we may be able to get to the floor, so I thought we'd better stay.  Feeling useless, we went off for some visits around the 'hood.

Some sort of celebration was happening that day, but we weren't sure what.  One thing I discovered on this trip was how little I understood of the northeastern Thai dialect.  A motorcycle carrying 3 drunk-looking guys covered with mud passed us.  

Oo, the girl whose house we were fixing, wanted us to visit her aunt's father, who was dying of cancer.  We walked to the house, and found a number of family members there, with the dying man lying on a mat on the floor.  He didn't look good.

I would like to be able to write and say that we laid hands on this man, commanded him in the name of Jesus to take up his bed and walk, but we didn't.  We did pray for him, and we did ask God to heal him, but nothing happened.  He opened his eyes a bit, moaned for just a bit of water, but it was clear he wasn't going to be healed that day.

Walking back from the house, we encountered a procession of more muddy drunk people.  Although the Songkran celebration, where people douse each other with water and smear white paste, was over a week ago, this village has another custom--a festival involving water, mud and alcohol.  Apparently some chickens ended their days as a sacrifice.  A tipsy woman in the road saw me and came up with her muddy hands out.  There was no escape--she smeared both sides of my face with yellow.

We never did get to work on the floor, but did play with the kids and go on a brief outing in the evening.  The next morning, our fourth and last day, we woke up before 6 am to a funeral song played over the village loudspeakers.  Later we found out the sick man had died.

"Oh great," we thought.  "They're going to blame us."  Oo reassured us that wasn't the case, but we were still a bit nervous. 

So we went to the house again.  Before 8am, the funeral was already set up.  People were sitting around eating and drinking.  Music was playing over a PA system and there was an MC with a microphone.  We were directed to an area of empty chairs and tables in sort of the middle of the gathering, and before we knew what was happening, the MC handed Dan the microphone to introduce ourselves.

"What do I say?" Dan whispered nervously. "I don't know," I responded confidently, relieved that he got stuck with the job instead of me.

Groping for words, Dan said that we were sad, and a couple other things I don't remember.  Then he said again that we were sad, and people applauded.  He handed the mic to me.

Not about to start preaching at a Buddhist funeral, I said we were members of an organization that helps people with their needs, and had come to help fix Oo's house.  And even though we were foreigners, we felt at one with Thai people, that we loved Thai people very much.  That was about it.  Certainly not articulate.  People applauded.

Then another guy, that perhaps was some sort of community leader, took the mic.  He proceeded to talk for at least 10 solid minutes on how great it was that we had come to serve the way we did.  He said several times that we were of a different religion, but that was ok.  He noted how we were different from other foreign guys who seem to want to be the bosses.

We left knowing that a door had just been opened wide for us to come back and serve further in that village, thanks especially to our staying that extra "useless" day, and praying for a sick man who died anyway.  Now the whole village knew us.  While it would have been nice to see the guy healed, I could see how God planned it this way.  Power under.  Serve, not be served.  

Comments (2)

One More Evil

22-Apr-07 11:43

I'm reeling.  The older girl who took Noi to her village was acting not right all week.  We thought it was because she felt responsible for what happened to Noi, but it became obvious there was something else.  Finally we pulled it out of her--she too was also raped that same night, but by only one guy.

Only one.

Guys, let me tell you something in case you didn't know: when a man takes advantage of a woman, she feels like scum.  No, she doesn't secretly like it.

I'll be out a few days on another village trip.   When I come back, I might just go on a blogging rampage about this issue. 

God help us all.

Comments (2)

Men For Women

21-Apr-07 00:37

In my last post I challenged men to get involved with caring for the needs of women who are poor and depressed.  Indeed there are a number who are already doing a lot. 

Carl Ralston is the founder of Remember Nhu, named after a young girl named Nhu who was sold into a brothel at age 12.  Carl first learned of Nhu's story visiting Thailand in 2003, and decided not to stand on the sidelines.

"Every talent and gift."  Give me a hundred men with that intense level of commitment, and the world will be changed.  

Comments (1)

Why, Men?

19-Apr-07 06:11 Sometimes people ask me how I deal with seeing men taking advantage of women so much.  To be honest, violence has crossed my mind.  It certainly has today.

It's been a few weeks since Noi, our 13 year-old foster daughter, ran away and came back.  She's been doing ok since, and growing on us. More and more she appears to be a sweet-hearted kid who just got off to the wrong start.  

Noi spent last night at The Well, and was still asleep at 9am.  Judy woke her up.  She didn't give an excuse.  She came down for class at 10:30.  At 11:15 we had a break so I took her aside.

When confronting someone, I always start with the positive.  "Noi, I love you very much."

"I love you too, Dad."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

She sat staring down at her hands resting on the table.  I told her she looked stressed.

It took her a while to get to it.  I didn't force anything.  It wasn't like she was in big trouble.

Finally she asked a shocking question, "Has anyone at The Well ever been . . ." and the next Thai word I didn't understand until she explained it.  I won't translate it here.  

Over last holiday weekend she had gone to a girlfriend's village.  It turned out that another long-time male friend of hers was also in the vicinity.  She said she trusted him as a friend, so went to visit him and his girlfriend Sunday night.  

He and some friends grabbed her, bound and gagged her in a room.  Then one at a time, each had his way.  There were 5 or 6.  She doesn't want to remember.  She's a baby, for goodness sake.  A precious, adorable child.  She even has round cheeks and dimpled knuckles.

"Some were nice and used a condom."

Judy and Miaw took Noi to see a doctor today.  Unfortunately it's been 4 days, too late for forensic evidence.  Lord protect her from any disease.  We'll be working closely with her and looking for extra outside help for her healing, including watching for signs of post traumatic stress disorder.  Of course we'd appreciate your prayer as well.

I can't help but think of Jesus' warning: "Better to wear a millstone necklace and take a swim in the deep blue sea than give even one of these dear little ones a hard time!" (Luke 17:1, The Message).  I'm looking for some millstones right about now.

But mostly I'm wondering how so many men can be so mean.  

My mission in coming here was to be one man that does the opposite, that instead of taking advantage of poor, helpless women and girls, does everything in his power to honor, protect and bless them.  Part of that means changing the hearts of men, and the best way I know to do that is to bring men to know Jesus.  

Men, please help.  There are many ways--reach out to other men, for instance, and lead them to Jesus and teach them humility and service for "widows and orphans".  We certainly need that here, but of course by no means here alone.  Spend time with teen boys and teach them God's view of women.  Maybe go with a friend to the parking lot of an adult bookstore or strip club, and strike up a conversation with a customer.  If you know where street prostitutes hang out in your area, take your wife and go talk to one, instead of just driving by and complaining about the police.  You probably already know at least one struggling single mom--go offer to paint her apartment or take her kids to the zoo.  

If someone out there would like to offer funds to put Noi into a decent Christian school, and pay for room and board in a safe environment, that would be wonderful.  I don't know how much, maybe $1000 for a year.  Or if you'd be interested in helping in our vision to help many more girls through starting schools and other prevention programs, that would be awesome.  I'm not trying to turn this into a fundraising gimmick--just obviously feeling the urgency all over again.  Please email me if you're interested, or hey, go ahead and donate online if you like.  Comments (3)

surrogate mother

16-Apr-07 09:14 The other day I talked on the phone with my little buddy Jiap.  Jiap is 16, and just finished 9th grade in her home province of Uthaithani.  She's somewhat of an orphan--her mom died when she was little, and her alcoholic dad works construction away from home and hardly ever shows up, like less than once a year.  Jiap is an adorable kid--shy, with pretty round eyes and a delightfully musical laugh.  She calls me once a week or so, we talk for 20 minutes or so, and after that I usually ask Judy 3 or 4 times if we can adopt her.  As it is, we're making sure she has the funds to finish high school, because poor girls from villages like hers are in dangerous territory.

Jiap's friend Nin, she told me, is pregnant and about to become the second wife to a 26 year old.  Nin is also 16, and dropped out of school after 8th grade in order to work.  According to Jiap, Nin's husband-to-be has had a number of mistresses already, but no one including his original wife has become pregnant.  Meanwhile his mom is wanting a grandchild.  So Nin is basically bearing the family a child.  The first wife, Jiap reports, is fine with the whole arrangement.

I asked Jiap what she thought about it. 

"I don't want to think."

Such a patriachal, polygynous arrangement is not at all unheard of in Thai society, and while it offends the sensibility of a Westerner, we need only look at the Old Testament to see it practiced by some highly respectable people.  And I suppose if indeed it were a situation where we could feel confident that Nin and her child would be secure for life, I could at least reluctantly tolerate it.  But based on the stories we hear repeatedly from women who end up in the bar scene, it's very likely that one day Nin will be treated like a used tire.  

Jiap is very pretty, so I asked her again if she was interested in any boys.  "No, but they're interested in me," she giggled.  "They come looking for me at home.  I tell them I want to continue in school."  And I believe she will, partly because she seems to have good sense but also because I've made it very clear to her that she will have the funds she needs to finish school, all the way through university.  For many others without that assurance, the short-term route is the straightest line.

Noi's 13 year-old friend, Fim, plans to be married next month.  God bless her. 

Comments (2)

Songkran

13-Apr-07 08:26

It's Songkran, the biggest Thai holdiday of the year; a 4-day water festival, or water fight.  Folks have gone home, so the streets of Bangkok are relatively empty.  In place of the usual traffic jams, groups of youth cruise the streets on motorbikes while others pile in the back of pickup trucks, armed with buckets of water and big squirt guns.  Their targets are others who line the streets waiting to throw water and a white mud paste on anybody they can, including the hapless folks who are simply trying to travel on the back of one of the open trucks that serve as buses on smaller streets.  It's actually a fun atmosphere, although of course there is quite a bit of drinking which can cause problems.

We went to a water park today, but will get in on some of the other "festivities" later.  I will try to get a couple of shots from the safety of a car to give you a better idea.

Comments (4)

Better than the NBA

09-Apr-07 00:27

One of the most common responses I get when telling other Christians about what we do, including missionaries and pastors, is, "That's a difficult ministry." I met a missionary yesterday who said it.

I'm tired of hearing that.  

I wonder if anyone ever said to Michael Jordan, "Playing in the NBA is difficult work."  I sort of doubt it.  They may have said, "What's it like playing against Barclay, Ewing or Shaq?"  But I suspect most people would focus on the fun and the challenge, not on the difficulty.  Getting paid to play, we figure, must be about the best thing there is.

This is better than playing in the NBA.

Sure, if you want to focus on difficulty, we see it.  But we have way more fun than hardship, way more reward than cost, even though we get paid maybe .1% of what Michael Jordan got at his peak.  In fact, you wouldn't have to pay us to do this, other than the fact that our kids need to eat and go to school. 

Next time you see us, ask how much fun we're having.   

Comments (4)

More Buriram images

09-Apr-07 00:02

About 35-40 kids come to Prang's house every day during school break.  Pictured with them are a few of our students who went along to help out, and Michaela Weeks, a volunteer visiting from the U.S. 

The woman on left is a new Christian.  

  Michaela is a rockin' English teacher

Comments (0)

Good Friday

06-Apr-07 07:54

Thank the Lord, so far Behn's plan to go to Japan did not work out.  She came by to visit today.  We pointed out in a lighthearted way that so far 2 doors have been closed and perhaps God was moving her towards The Well.  She's definitely too trapped for now by dysfunctional parents who demand money from her, at least if she's telling the truth.  That's hard to know at this point. Meanwhile Behn is freelancing around Sukhumvit Road.

I talked with one of our women about a drinking binge she had Monday night.  She was expecting to get the book thrown at her, but instead I just said ok.  We'll give her some loving 'consequences', like some extra reading, but mostly we find that just our knowing about a problem such as this is consequence enough.

In my past in working with people with addictions I used to focus a lot more on addictive behavior.  Here in Thailand we realized long ago that we needed to de-emphasize it because the shame people felt was too great. Instead we focus on understanding and loving them through it.  I like this approach much better.

Comments (2)

Prang's mission

04-Apr-07 09:28

Last Wednesday I went with Prang to visit some folks, including Jay.  10 days prior she had been struck by lightning.

The storm came on a Sunday.  It rained very hard, and there were some huge thunder crashes.  Prang said her mom heard the news first that Jay had been hit.  Her mom was hysterical-"She's dead for sure!"

"No she isn't," Prang answered calmly.  "She didn't die."  Prang doesn't know how she knew, but she felt right away that it was God's plan.

 Jay, a pretty young Khmer-looking woman with a husband and son, suffered some burns to her face, chest and abdomen.  For Prang it was an opportunity to share that there is a God who is in charge. She prayed with Jay, asking God to heal her quickly and introduce Himself to her.

Later, I talked some more with Prang about her goals.  She loves reaching others, and would like to do that wherever she can, even if it one day means moving to another location.  She'd like to start a church in her village then have someone else take over.

In may she is tentatively scheduled to join Kevin Kane, a longtime friend of mine, and a team of mostly Cambodian Americans on a mission trip to Cambodia. 

By the way, here's a shot of Prang when we met her 3 years ago at Soi Cowboy. You might say we're rather proud of her. 

Comments (3)

 

Write a comment

Name:
Email:
Subject:
Comment: *

Help prevent spam - enter security code above: