Michaela's Blog

hello from the heartland

 It's great to send you an email from good old America.  I'm so happy to be home with my family, Nick and my friends, but I sure miss Prang, her family, our women, waking up to the sunrise and Thai food.  Ate rice tonight for the first time since I've been back.  It's not the same on this side of the ocean  :)
 
My last week in Buriram was marked with very precious goodbyes.  We were so busy, which was great.  We had a 15-year-old, Pah, start to work for us a couple weeks before I left.  This is the beginning of what we hope to be many more young teens in Buriram who will choose not to find work at the bars.  Prang threw me 2 goodbye parties.  All sorts of neighbors, teachers and kids came over to hang out.  They honored me with a very traditional Thai blessing by tying pieces of string around my wrists.  Some of them stuck some small bills in the string as well.  They typically do this at weddings or when a boy decides to enter the monkhood.  As they tied the rope, the ones who knew me well hugged me and told me reasons they appreciated having me live with them.  The most memorable for me was Prang's sister, Si.  She told me that when we started working, she didn't know how to sew.  No one else would have employed her, she said.  She told me that I was so good at encouraging her as she took quite a while to learn.  Her goodbye was so precious because I've seen her blossom personally and spiritually as she's blossomed in her sewing abilities.
 
Another precious moment before I left happened during our morning devotional time.  We were about to pray and were talking about how we wanted others to pray for us.  I explained how I was scared about the upcoming financial culture shock.  After living among the poverty in Buriram, I was worried about going back to middle class America.  I was worried about buying coffee for $3 - enough to feed a family for a day - and being overwhelmed with guilt.  No, I've never been a $3 cup a day kind of person (maybe a $2 cup a week), but I was just making a point.  As I talked, some of the others started tearing up.  One woman was crying.  I thought they were feeling resentful that I lived with them only to pack up and go back to my middle class life.  Then Prang's oldest sister looked at me and said, 'Michaela, we have a good life now.  When we're hungry, we can buy food.  Our families can stay together and we have work everyday.'  Another woman was crying because she said sometimes she didn't even have $3 to feed her family each day.  But they made it work.  She told me she was so grateful that I understood their life and loved them.  She gave me two pink pillows for my car before I left.
 
Living with them sure didn't seem like poverty, it just seemed like life.  I lived with them and in most of the same conditions they did just because Jesus called me to love people in Buriram.  We can't love people very well when we don't understand them.  But living poor wasn't an effort to 'try' to understand them.  It was just what happened when these precious people become more important to me than Starbucks or new clothes or going somewhere exciting.  Praise be to Jesus, who is our treasure  :)
 
I will be selling purses, jewelry and cards from the Well as well as helping with some fundraising.  If you are interested in looking at the products or hosting a party, you can email me to chat.

when being here feels so worth it

Today was one of those days. One of those days when missing Nick or longing for a chat with one of my best friends seems no more painful than a minor bruise. Not because I talked with Nick or ate ice cream and chatted all night, but because all the gut-wrenching hardness of being here alone felt so gloriously worth it.

One of Prang's sisters, Suk, sat with us while we ate fruit after dinner (rambutan's – if you've never eaten fresh ones, the 6 unripe pieces you can buy at Trader Joe's for $4 are a poor example of how great they are!). Suk nervously told me she had something she wanted to ask. I knew exactly what was coming, so I smiled and told her "Sure, go ahead!" As I expected, she wanted to talk about borrowing money to build a new house. Some of you reading this blog have seen the house she, her 2 kids, and her husband live in. Her family jokes that when it rains hard, her house will wash away. In all honestly, it's probably not far from the truth. Prang built it for her with old wood, sheet metal and about $200 when Suk came home asking for work.

Before this year Suk often moved around looking for work or a new husband. One day she joked that usually in Thailand, men are leaving for a new woman, but she was the other way around. She would leave for a new man. For quite some time, she has talked about staying here and building a permanent house. I thought if she got serious, she'd probably ask to borrow money from me. I didn't think she was serious enough.

Now it seems she's serious. I get the sense she's ready to be here. She's ready to build her family, to work with Prang, to help people in the village. Since I'll be gone soon, I may give her money with the plan for her to repay the ministry instead of me. I think she'll be motivated to repay her loan knowing it will enable everyone here to help more people. I'm not sure if or how much I should lend Suk. But that's not important tonight. Because Suk asking for a loan isn't about money, it's about a change in heart. And a change in heart is priceless. It's why the father gave his irresponsible, immoral, prodigal son his best robe and threw him a feast when he returned home.

...seems anticlimatic to keep writing, but I have to... Prang's youngest sister, Nah, who just had a baby boy, came in the kitchen too. I asked her how she was feeling, if she was tired. I knew the answer was yes, but just wanted to show that I cared about her and noticed how hard she is working to take care of her baby. The answer was more along the lines of "I feel really pressured."

I told her I thought she was amazing, and I was impressed with how much she was enduring. Taking care of her baby without his father must be extremely difficult. Yet everyday I noticed how she continued to endure in order to love her son. She got a little teary, said thank you, and went outside to eat dinner.

She came back after everyone had left. I was washing dishes alone. She started crying, "MEEkayLah, thank you so much for understanding me. I feel very hopeless, very weak, very tired. Taking care of my baby alone is so difficult. Thank you for understanding me. I feel so weak because I feel like no one understands me, no one notices how difficult it is for me. I don't have a husband to share my pain. When I'm tired, I still have to wash clothes by myself, hold my son by myself, do everything myself." She hugged me, crying harder. I don't think she's ever hugged me before. I was crying too.

"Nah, I see you everyday and see how much you're enduring for your child. I understand only a little of what you do, but God understands everything. He knows how difficult it is for you to take care of himalone, and I really believe He's going to bless you for it." She asked me why I was crying. "Because I see how much you're enduring. I want to help, but I don't know how. So I'm trusting that God will bless you because He sees everything."

"MEEkayLah, I think I can understand you, too, when you cry. I understand how much you miss Nick, and everyone at home. I feel the same way. I miss the child's father, and my friends in Bangkok. When I see you cry, I cry too, because I can understand how you feel. When I see how much you endure, I am encouraged to keep going. Thank you so much for understanding me."

God's words to Moses about His plan to rescue the Israelites out of slavery have been coming to mind often lately. I think God really wants to remind me of the fact that just as He indeed saw the misery of his people thousands of years ago, heard them crying out, knew their suffering, and had come down to rescue them, so He sees and hears us now. He knows our suffering, understanding what no one else can understand, and has come to rescue us. I do believe and hope God will pour out His blessing on Nah. She is indeed suffering much right now to raise a baby boy alone. And while I can't understand everything, and surely can't rescue her, I can trust the God who can.

show them the well

This morning, I began to teach through Joseph's story with the women here.  Prang has started teaching the Old Testament more and encouraging the women to read in it by themselves.  After all, the majority of the Bible was written before Jesus came she explained.  My hope and prayer is that in reading through the stories of God and Israel, these women will see an amazingly loving and powerful God.  Joseph's story is an incredible testimony of God working His good plan through the most unlikely of circumstances.  His story constantly encourages me to trust in God's timing.  To trust that, if we endure, we will see God's goodness even through the hardest of trials. 

My hope in teaching about Joseph isn't to impart any unique knowledge.  My hope is simply to guide them in reading about God's gracious plan for His people.  To give them a thirst to see and understand more of our awesome God.  We'll take several days to read through the story.  Today we left off at a good point - thus far, Joseph has only been obedient and upright before God.  Yet he's been sold into slavery, sent to prison and forgotten.  What is God doing?  After we finished the Bible study time for the morning, some of the women weren't leaving the table.  They were avidly reading on, wondering what God will do.  Prayer answered.  We don't need to give people water, we just need to show them where the well is...

leaving a piece of my heart

Yesterday, I could feel myself wanting to pull back a bit from Prang's family. I felt like I needed to keep my distance since I'm leaving in under 6 weeks now. Frustrated, I called Jim and told him how I was feeling. "Don't let yourself do it," he encouraged me. "It's going to break your heart to leave these people, but don't be afraid of the heartache."

I journaled for awhile after talking with him. I felt confused, even angry with God for calling me to come here. Not only have I felt the burden of missing my family back home, but now I'm beginning to feel the burden of having to say goodbye to my family here. Why did God call me here for such a short season like this? Getting engaged this year didn't catch me or Nick or Jim or Prang off-guard: we all knew my time in Thailand was somewhat short. But I also knew I would not be a good steward of my time if I chose to spend this year in America. God's call to come to Thailand, even for a year, was very strong on my heart.

Jim told me that it was natural and good to leave a part of my heart here. So I decided that with my 6 weeks left, I'm not just going to leave a piece of my heart here, but I'm going to throw it - throw it into these people and their lives. Trusting that just as God called me to say goodbye to my family in America in accordance with His good plan, He will call me to say goodbye to my family in Buriram in accordance with this same good plan. It's a bit scary. I know my heart will break when I go home, just as it broke when I came here. But our God is good, we have nohing to fear :)

Amazing Grace - how sweet the sound

Prang has told me before about Jesus coming to people in their dreams.  People who are curious about Christianity, even hungry for it, yet not ready to make a decision about believing.  Yah had a dream, a local twenty-something town drunk had a dream.  And Prang’s always had to tell me because my Thai hasn’t been good enough to understand.  But today I got to hear it for myself...

I was going for a bike ride.  Prang was running errands.  We planned to meet to visit a family in her village.  The family is taking in a nephew so he can continue going to school.  He finished elementary school, and his parents can’t afford to bus him to a school with secondary education.   He’s moving to his aunt and uncle’s near Prang’s so he can go to 7th grade here.  We needed to talk with them because we had agreed a month ago to help support the nephew's schooling.  His aunt and uncle hardly have enough to provide for their own family.

I got to the house before Prang and was talking with the aunt.  She was telling me how the nephew can hardly read; what a pity, she said.  What can she do? How can she help?  God will help, right?  I assumed she just slipped that in because she knows we’re Christians.  To my knowledge, she hadn’t been interested in being a Christian.

Then she told me about getting a book at the big tent meeting we went to in March.  She read the entire book, she told me.  (It was a new testament.  Quite a feat for anyone in less than 2 months, let alone someone with her 6th grade education.)  Then she had a dream.  Jesus came to her wearing a white outfit.  He had long hair.  He came to her and offered her a present, neatly wrapped.  She took the present.

By this time, Prang is talking with us.  Did she know what the present was?  No, but after the dream, she stopped praying to spirit houses and buddhist idols.  She quit arguing with her husband all the time.  She started praying to God.  Prang’s asking her how she prays and explaining why we pray in Jesus’ name.  The aunt then tells us that as the 3 of us Christians are here talking together, God is with us.  Yep, right on, we agree!  She goes on to say that she's always been discontent in her poverty, always wanting this and that.  She feels that she now has enough.  She feels happy.

It’s one thing to hear stories about God working miracles and appearing in dreams.  But it’s quite another to hear and understand this from someone myself.  God is amazing, amazing in His power, and amazing in His grace, and it is quite sweet to hear about it in Thai.

Nah's baby boy

Nah, Me, Baby Boy Ni (pronounced like Nick - I take that as a compliment!) and Si (a sister) 

All of our ladies, and especially Prang’s sisters, are really doing a great job showing Nah how much they love her and care about her.  Si, pictured here on the right, spent 3 nights at the hospital on the floor with a straw mat.  Others took turns spending the days with her and coming for visits.  What a great group of people we’re working with!

Mother's Day

I miss my mom.

I miss a lot of things in Buriram...  Nick, crisp apples, vanilla yogurt, long conversations with my bestest of friends, reliable running water, shower heads, fresh coffee...  It’s easy to have a pity party if I get myself started.

But today I miss my mom.  Prang had to take herself from leading worship today in order to discipline her daughter.  She has an understanding about parenting many people don’t. She realizes that one of the most important aspects of raising good kids is spending the time to show them they’re lovable, to show them they’re precious.  Parents in Thailand often send kids home with grandparents or aunts while they work in the city.  As Prang put it, Grandma’s give in to kids.  They’re supposed to, right? :) So kids often grow up doing whatever they want, and not getting much time from mom or dad.  It’s easy for me to be disgusted and impatient with some of the behaviors by kids and teens here... but when I learn that a disrespectful 13 year old is being raised by an aunt responsible for about 6 kids, my disgust quickly turns to compassion.  Misbehavior, whatever the form, is a symptom of an illness.  An illness whose cure is nothing less than pure, selfless, unconditional love.  Acting lovable requires feeling loved.

Since today is Mother’s Day, I’d like to thank my mom for spending the time to help me understand that I am indeed lovable, that I am indeed precious.  I think of the special birthday dinners when we’d all get dressed up to eat Chinese stir-fry and fortune cookies at House of Hunan.  And the 6-mile-bike rides on the Keystone trail where we played on the jungle gym at the halfway point.  Riding around in our way cool red minivan jamming to Beach Boys and Jimmy Buffett and Weird Al.  Car trips to Michigan with coolers full of snacks and a new surprise toy for the long drive.  My mom did an amazing job planning all sorts of creative ways for our family to spend time together.  One Mother’s Day we asked her, “Mom, when is Kids’ Day?”  She laughed, “Kids Day is everyday.”  So true.  Yet Kids Day she planned.  I think we went on a bike ride.

Thanks, Mom!  I love you!


This is my mom’s first Mother’s Day without her mother, pictured here between us.  We had a great dinner at a Thai restaurant and my Grandma June enjoyed every minute of it, even the food!

Starting school

Fi and I went on a bike ride last night. We went to Maew's house. It was fun.  :)  They're both very happy to be starting school and to be seeing friends.

Fi and Maew

Fi and Maew are a few days from starting school for the year, so they aren’t coming back to work.  But I think things are okay between all of us.  After having time to talk with each of them more, it seems that cultural and language misunderstandings made a small matter much bigger than it was.  They want time off before they have to go back to school, and we were nearly done with their main summer project.  During their internship, we had some great conversations and fun nights together.  I’m hoping these don’t end because of a one weird, misunderstood conversation.  I don't think they will.

...before that conversation, when I noticed some of their work was getting sloppy, I debated in my head whether it was a good idea that I had entrusted something as “precious” as Save-the-Date cards for my very own wedding to 2 teenagers who didn’t have much experience making cards.  I was very humbled as God brought to mind that He was in fact entrusting me to spend time with and to love 2 very precious teenagers who are beginning to choose for themselves which direction their lives will take.  Sure, they may be amateurs at making cards, but I’m quite the amateur at influencing lives for God.  Yet He lets me do it anyways...

Fi and Maew are so precious.  Please remember them as you pray. :)

the lure of the foreign boyfriend

She’s 46. I met her last night because she’s home, broke, and living off her mom for a few weeks. She’s friends with Prang; they used to work in the same bar. She used to have a foreign boyfriend who sent her money every month.  He's not supporting her anymore, so she's looking to meet another nice guy. Her family is thrilled about her sister’s upcoming wedding. Her sister is marrying an American.

“Prang and I used to work together... you know,” she explained, “I know you speak Thai, but I’m telling you this in English because I don’t want everyone else to understand. Prang, she’s a nice woman. She didn’t like to go with customers, but I like to go. I like working in the bars. I want to meet a good guy there.”

Though it’s not acceptable to speak about working in the bars, looking for a foreign man is okay. Many families even encourage their young girls to go find a foreign boyfriend in the city.  Support from him could sustain their entire family.

I think about Yah’s daughter... Where could she end up in a few years if her family’s debt is still monstrous and her parents don’t understand love as Jesus shows? Prevention work isn’t solely about keeping a young girl in school. It’s about loving her family so her family will love her.

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Jana
Posts: 13

Hello
Reply #13 on : Wed May 28, 2008, 02:49:07

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Hi Michaela,
Just reading all the blogs...yours, Nick's and Caspy's!! You guys are all amazing and such blessings in your work and lives.

We are all doing well here and moving into summer! We are thinking of you and praying!
We will call starting tomorrow and be in touch with you lots!
Love you love you!!
Jana

Dad
Posts: 13

Re: Michaela's Blog
Reply #12 on : Wed May 14, 2008, 20:13:40

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Enjoyed ur email update and picture on the Blog. Nice Mother's day blog, Michaela, Mom had a great day watching 2 amazing baseball games with the boys and Grandma. Brent went out of his way to get her a nice gift and it sounds like she loved it. I think it went well for her 1st Mother's day without her mom. Only a few weeks left b4 you come back, can't wait but know it will be an emotional time leaving. Pray for u all the time, Love Dad.

Grandpa George
Posts: 13

Hello Michaela
Reply #11 on : Tue April 15, 2008, 01:08:18

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Dear Michaela,
Jana is visiting Darlene and I right now. We were able to read your information on your stay in Thailand. You are doing great work and we are so proud of you.

Grandma and I are both doing pretty well. I am excited to get out to the golf course on a regular basis. Some days are long for Grandma Darlene so I hope that she will go along with me!

We will be anxious to see you when you arrive back in the USA. Thanks for reaching out to people who really need you and for sharing the word of Christ. There is no better gift.

Please write to Darlene and I when you have time.
We love you,
Grandpa George and Grandma Darlene Jensen

Nok
Posts: 13

Thank you for the blog
Reply #10 on : Mon March 10, 2008, 18:28:11

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Hello Michaela, thank you for updating the blog. It is really neat to hear all these great stories. I will continue to pray for the work in Prang's village and for you. I bet your Thai is improving by day :> I so hope to visit the village one day. I am not sure if it is possible. I will have a short visit in Thailand later in May. It will be less than two weeks visit. The main goal is to visit my family. If God opens door, I will try to go visit you and Prang. Not sure yet. Hey, do you need anything from here. I can at least bring it to THailand and mail it to you. Take care. Tell Prang I said "Hi" and that "Jesus loves her, so be strong."

Amy Williams
Posts: 13

you!
Reply #9 on : Sun March 09, 2008, 00:24:33

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Michaela- I love hearing and now seeing about your work in Tailand! Wow, are they lucky to have you over there. Keep spreading the good news.

Amy

Kristen Otterson
Posts: 13

You Amaze Me!
Reply #8 on : Fri March 07, 2008, 23:44:25

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Mikay,

Thank you for taking the time to keep up this blog. It is powerful and inspiring to read about your work. Know that you are missed and loved dearly back home!

Big hugs! XOXO

Ott

Sarah Naber
Posts: 13

Hola chica!!!
Reply #7 on : Thu March 06, 2008, 16:00:12

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Hey hon! I love your blog! The photos of you and all the Thai women that are coming to either know Christ or know more about Christianity as a result of your servanthood are so amazing and inspiring! God is so good! I love you and miss you!

~ Sarah

Abby Wondercheck
Posts: 13

Re: Michaela's Blog
Reply #6 on : Thu March 06, 2008, 13:39:48

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Michaela...it's great to see you working over in Thailand and see the smiling faces you are making. Looks like you are having fun and doing what you feel is the best! We miss you here and can't wait to see you this summer, but keep up the good work. The world needs more unselfish folks like you! Take care!

Love,
Abby & Josiah

Kim
Posts: 13

Re: Michaela's Blog
Reply #5 on : Thu March 06, 2008, 04:03:28

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It's fun to read your words and see your smiling face with your pajama pants on!!!! I'm so grateful for you, Sweetie!!! Thank you for living out "fixing your eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal". I think of you often as I run on the treadmill (did I tell you I'm going to run the half-marathon in May?!??!) and review Isaiah 55:5 and remember praying that for you with regards to China, and now smile to think of that playing out with Thailand! Please know you are missed here.
Much love,
-me
Kim Havenstein

Brittany
Posts: 13

Re: Michaela's Blog
Reply #4 on : Thu March 06, 2008, 03:56:51

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I'm so glad you started this blog, and I hope you update often (as if you have time for that!). Praise the Lord for the work He's done in your life, that you are able to bless others in this way. May He get all the glory. Thank you for loving Jesus.
I love you, dear friend.